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January 31, 2006

Better: Stuff the Franklin up in there, and let 'em fist for it.

Aggre$$ive Hung Top Needed For My HUGE Bootie - 43

I'm looking to get my huge ass topped, worked open, whatever, by a HUNG hot top, 18-45 yrs, IN GOOD TO GREAT SHAPE, who's cool topping a generous big chub bear. I'm 5'10", 265, hairy all over except my HUGE round ass. I'm especially into black and latin tops, but also enjoy white, asian, etc. stud tops. If it works, we can discuss making this a regular event which will help us both out ("I can offer 'one hundred reasons' for your services," said Ben Frankln). I totally get off on DL bruhs, thugs, papis, ricans, boricua, etc. Let's make it happen! Also interested in a "regular thing" if you're up for it. Drop me an email with your pic and info (you must have a pic!). I can come to you, in most of the LA area, or will consider getting a room. Hit me back, papi!

January 30, 2006

This IS how Ryan Seacrest was discovered.

american idol tryouts at my apartment... - m4w - 25

hey ladies, so if you are charismatic, outgoing, attractive, and a good singer then i bet youd be GREAT at humming... with your mouth full. yes this is no joke. just a few fun guys looking for some great talent. holding auditions from 8 pm til 4 am monday thru saturday. hit us up for an oppurtunity of a lifetime. just me and no more than 2 roomates will be screening. std free please. oh ya and please respond with a headshot, or a pic from your camera phone will do. good luck.

January 29, 2006

Sounds Like You Need To Cut Back.

So over all you fuckin, worthless tweekers!!

Shit, it's so nasty and disgusiting, tweekers all bugged out on Crystal!! It's fuckin nasty, you're pathetic and you need to get a life!! And now you freaks are even posting on here that you want to "SLAM" how fuckin stupid and fucked up in the head are you?! Great thinking tweeker post on a public site that you want to shove a needle in your vein and shoot up, IDIOT!! Go get some help people...I'm just over this shit, it's taken some of my best friends and turned them into shitbags, it truly is pathetic...I can't beleive some of you are promoting this evil shit, Crystal is PURE EVIL, ever wonder why you get so sketchy and scared, it's cause it's evil...get help...okay, I vented!

January 28, 2006

Drop The Flag, Not Your Pants

lookin for perv CAB/TAXI DRIVERS

Im 28 white total perv big dick way cute into pulling out my dick and showin off. Lately been getting off taking a taxi (especially LATE night) and pulling out my dick to see if the driver notices me sittin back and yankin on my dick. Be cool to hook up with some drivers who might get off on a fare like that.

January 27, 2006

What About "Monster Style"? Oh, Wait, That's a Double-Double

WHO WANTS TO GET SKULL FUCKED TODAY????????????????????? - 30

*pleaase do not respond asking what this is. If need you to ask (rick) then you are an idiot, and probably need to get FUCKED PRISON STYLE INTSTEAD.

SERIOUS REPONSES ONLY. THIS IS FOR TODAY ONLY.


GOOD LOOKING 5'11 200# light brown hair, hazel eyes, have pic, real. gym built.

January 26, 2006

Kiss My "Rectal Lips"

any slow-teasie rimmer's? cute-swm/skinny older30's sks

I'm longish legs, slite hair. I'm brunette, longer haired-to collar, w/bangs. Soft-dark brown eyes....Can U share your Pad yet not a bedroom!-U would still keep your space/room 2 yourself But, lets Meet.

U into real-affectionate rim'r/makeing out to nice-buns? U enjoying huging between buns in prolonged romancing the cheecks?.. so much that u can't stay away for hours from frenching very-clean inner surface in long periods.

-I'm skinny '6ft `caucasion late30's longer haired brunette, bangs..very-geniunely gentle-mannered. NOT-a bottom for fucking. Do desire in aftermath to feel your full-hard cock sliding between buns upon-surface only as it's a fetish-desire /not inside.

U really kiss senusally-deeply gently/cuddleing nice clean buns with your lips or touching them nitely? A tonuge teasing the inner-most edges of my rectal and it pokes within it's rectal hole every so often-in all-nite prolonged feel of hairless-smooth buns? .... Very clean even more than my arm-pits between buns & well scented. I wear very tight jeans to turn-on those who crave nicely-wrapped buns, who need to want to feel mine, daily. -Just needing to feel that tongue rubbing the edges of my rectal lips? Your huges between and upon buns, is so deeply needed. Lets meet... I'm very clean as my arm-pits.

I really enjoy after all that, to feel your hard cock sliding over the surface , "slowly" using jergens-lotion to make it "slippery" Then feel your cimax shots onto my lower buns skin, is the turn-on for me in peaking..

..very clean since I work as a nude model in large drawing classes now 12yrs. I have a place to live now...but many roommates there..I Need real love thru a toucher' type of guy! Just true interest ( serious only ) I want to live with one who can share their pad.. as I simply stay in living room's couch. Will pay $130/monthly... No home p.c. tonite...used a librarys p.c. and they closed at 6 p.m. ( I crave nitely-for that fix/being rimmed..It's my Dream-need. lets meet tonite!

January 25, 2006

Pork sausages?

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\-------HOT-DOG ASS STUFFING CONTEST TONIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!! - 33

prizes awarded for most hot dog stuff in ass with or without condiments.

January 24, 2006

'Cause That's Just Trashy

Cruising Parks and other places

I think the best comment I saw on this "problem" was the woman that said, "Now you know how we feel every day when we are walking....." Now I got to ask, just how serious were you on this "cardio" workout? Were you having a problem focusing? I have plenty of times been chowing down on a hot cock and seen runners going by totally focussed on their run. If you had been totally focused you probably would not have seen these guys and besides, you are buff and in good shape or fat and out of shape. In the first case you could easily outrun these bush potatoes (think couch potatoe) and in the second case - well keep running - fat guys are not a major turn on for 99% of the cock suckers in the park.
Oh and that remark about the cock suckers not having a computer so they do not see these comments. You would be surprised.
Now having said all that, I do not cruise Griffith Park myself. I have friends that do and have always had a good time there. I personally prefer truck stops and rest areas. I have a buddy that swears that industrial parks are the best place to cruise. Another one says that his office building is a hot spot for a cock sucker and he has been porked a few times as well there. So you see this is happenning everywhere. But the difference between GP and most other places are that the cocksuckers and so forth are a messier lot there. They do not clean up after themselves.
Now that is something that I really object to. It is just as bad as the guy that doesn;t want to pay to dump his trash and so he finds a deserted road and drops his crap there so others can have the pleasure of seeing his depravity everytime they come down this road. Clean up your damn condoms. Pretend you are a dog (another gay fantasy, BTW) and bring a baggie with you when you come to the park so you can pick up your used condoms and deposit them in the trash like a decent human being. Stop trashing the planet!

January 23, 2006

And You Won't Believe How I Want You to Condition My Hair!

NEED BODY MASSAGE - with a TWIST

Need a guy to give me a body massage but to use his URINE as the lotion. The heat of the urine and the ammonia content is an amazing erotic way to open up the pores and cleanse the body. If you have great hands, can give a great massage and can urinate throughout the session, hit me up with your pic for mine. Handsome masculine, hairy, beefy sexy hung guy here.

January 22, 2006

"Testicals" Is Not My Teddy Bear

any sensual-hairless testical lovers? Do U enjoy licking a swm-cute 39

seek someone who 'fetish is hairless testicals? swm-skinny longer hair, cute, sks-I'm skinny '6ft `caucasion late30's.. U really kiss senusally-deeply gently/cuddleing testicals with your lips or touching them nitely?-in all-nite prolonged feel of hairless-smooth jewels? I do have pubic hairs surrounding the pelvis but testis are fully hairless. I'm soft-spoken/gentle manner, late30's..I'm very fresh scented, very clean since I work as a nude model in large drawing classes now 12yrs.

I Need real love thru a toucher' type of guy! Just true interest ( serious only ) I want to live with one who can share their pad.. as I simply stay in living room's couch. Will pay $130/monthly...Do u show "feelings" threw- the way you feel, testicals or backside on buns?

I'm brunette, longer haired-to collar, w/bangs. Soft-dark brown eyes..I ONLY wish to "live w/one" who has a high-fetish into this..Can U share your Pad yet not a bedroom!-U would still keep your space/room 2 yourself.... Just the living room for $130/monthly. If u don't mention about renting w/you, forget it..

January 21, 2006

We're certain he's just being hard on himself (by L.A. standards).

Validate me - m4m - 27

Me:

Obese (by LA standards)
Dull (by LA standards)
White Trash (by LA standards)
Abjectly impoverished (by LA standards)
A member of the unwashed masses (by LA standards)
Ugly (by LA standards)
Creepily intelligent (by LA standards)
Really, really, really butch (by LA standards)
Mind-numbingly high-brow (by LA standards)
Worthless (by LA standards)

You:
Same. More or less.

Email, then click 'send'.

Steve, Teach Me The Ways of Pleasure. Once a Week.

House Boy - m4m - 79

Older, sincere, honest, experienced Leatherman

Older, sincere, honest, caring and very experienced Leatherman with completely equipped "training" room. Have conducted workshops and feel confident in every aspect of the scene, including BDSM, electro, fisting, sounds, cbtt, enemas, toys, cageing, massage (free/mutual), chasity, hoods, gags, blindfolds, oral.
Appreciate both roles and will help you expand your limits, explore new areas, fulfill your fantasies; or gain experience in an active status. Always safe, sane and consensual and at your pace, in the aspects of your choice. And no charge of any sort.

Seeking a quality 18-28 yo live in houseboy. Tuition, room, board furnished. Once a week, I get to force you to get naked and be used by anyone I bring home

I Am 79 and Heavy Set and a Top or Vers. My name is Steve and I will love to teach you the ways of pleasure

[found by Weird Ads reader Andy]

January 20, 2006

The Hottest Castaways Since Gilligan and Crew

AnyONE GEttin Naked and watchin LOST - 32

lookin to stroke with buddies while watchin lost

Where Exactly Are a Guy's "Poon" And "Cans"?

Leave all the MACHO "Straight Acting/Appearing" BS at the door

You can act and appear as straight as you want at work, at the gym and wherever else you want. But once you walk (or are carried) through the bedroom door, you become a total f'ing sl*t. A sl*t with a wet snatsch and hot little t*ttys. I want to hear you moan, I want to hear you groan, and I want you to use your box and ur cans to drive my pr*ck ape shit crazy. Am I making myself clear here? Good. Now come here baby. Gimme what you got. Come on, open up. Don't be shy baby. Let me see what you're hiding down there. Open your top a little. That's it. I got a nice handful of t*tty baby. I'm going to put my mouth on it, while my finger starts to open ur poon, sweetheart. Open up. That's it. I'll take care of you.

From someone claiming aversion to surprises, this ad omits something important. (But, what? Leave your guess in Comments.)

Cajun Cutie Cooking Dinner - Care To Eat (With) Me? - 29

What are we having?

Glazed meatloaf, dirty rice, the best crusty mac & cheese ever, blackened sourdough, Stewart's ginger beer (giner ale with a bad attitude), buttermilk pie, real homemade French vanilla ice cream, Creole coffee and maybe some of that good old cherry pudding.

Me: Feminine, 5'7", long brown hair, green eyes, all natural 40-24-37, love to kiss and cuddle.

I've got the laptop here in the kitchen, looking for replies, and even though I've got The Andy Griffith Show on in the background (TV Land) later we'll do some Desert Hearts. We're eating at 8PM. Please send a pic, because I'm not cooking for dick and I really hate surprises.

Oh, and if you can't make it tonight, tomorrow is blackened salmon, mashed sweet potatoes, spinach souffle, etc.

January 19, 2006

Hope We Get To The Boner, er, Bonus Round

have you... "SCENE IT?" ...Naked!

Have you played the DVD Movie Game SCENE IT?

For those who haven't, it's a Movie Trivia Game using DVD Film Clips, challenge cards and a board.

I'm looking to get some guys together to have some movie loving fun. Anyone up for it?

We could play it naked, and award a sensual massage from the losing team to the winners...

If you're interested, send me your pics/stats, availability, indicate if you want to play naked...

Me: GWM 40, 5'9" 178 Br/Br Clean-Cut Drug-free non-smoker.
Generally attracted to GWM nonsmokers from 28 - 48

Goddamit Dennis, I Mean It This Time!

Hot smooth musc guy for cocksuckers 2 nite,no to DENNIS SNOW !

Horny cocksuckers with a fantasy step right up , send a photo I will sak any way average guys cool, video pix et cet, DENNIS SNOW DO NOT REPLY WHERE IS MY COMPUTER YOU BITCH !

January 18, 2006

I Guess This Means Definitely *Not* Lactose Intolerant

Seeking Lactatious Lady For Arrangement - m4w

Seeking an actively lactating woman for a mutually beneficial arrangement. I am an affluent, attached, normal professional who happens to tremendously enjoy being nursed. As you will be acting as my wet nurse I will compensate you for your time. No sex required. My other requirement is that you have a convenient location for us to meet and be available early mornings or late afternoons.

January 17, 2006

And the blow. Don't forget the blow.

THE NIGHT SWIMMER

It's not important who I am. I live here in LA. I've been very fortunate, and worked hard, to establish my career in some amazing films--stuff you only imagine about when you're getting into this thing. Nobody can prepare you for what happens when ONE DAY you're struggling, eating Ramon for dinner, scraping by in a 10' x 12' studio apartment----and THE NEXT DAY you're everywhere, thanks to the marketing strategy of a studio looking to make a LOT of money. You go through this stage--it lasts a while--where you just feel ironclad. You feel chosen. As if you graduated from the struggling life we all lead, to something so fucking supreme and beautiful.

The kicker is that you lose what came before--simplicity and the feeling of the raw struggle to get somewhere--you are no longer the underdog--you have risen, and now you can only fall. You have something to lose now. Something gets taken away from you. And the other kicker is that it's all bullshit, an illusion, and you easily start to feel worthless.

There are these days... when I would trade this absurd house, these... things, some of the all-too public, messed-up relationships--trade it all--to be able to walk down the street and drink a beer in solitude. Or go out for Chinese food with a few friends. I'm not saying you can't do that when all of this happens, but I'm saying you're never really prepared for the eyes on you. At all times. I've met some amazing human beings by being in this position I'm in. I'm blessed. But tonight, I'm venting, because it's anonymous. Because half the people here are doing the same thing, I think. There are so many nights I sit in b/c it's just easier to. And I just split up with this truly amazing woman, she's so talented, god, she's going to change this world, I know she is, and it just didn't work with us. We tried. And if she's reading this, I am truly sorry. We had some amazing times, and it's just life. I know she's going to be alright. Unlike a lot of us in this bright light, she has a truly wonderful family that supports her. That's trust.

I'm out on the porch right now and tonight, I stare down at this city. You know, when you see yourself on TV, or on the side of a fucking bus, YOU get sick of you, YOU start to feel like a fraud, and it seems pathetic that people have pictures of you on their walls or swarm to read about you in US Weekly (that trashy heap of a rag).

I've slipped away from it for a while. I've been listening to a lot of Leonard Cohen. Taking photos off my porch. Drinking beers and making white rice again in my kitchen. It's good in a way.

I called my agent, I said no more bullshit, man. I love the guy, he's helped me so much, but I had to level. I'm at this stage where I'm getting sent scripts for big-budget garbage. I've done some of that, and I've done some work that felt REAL. I think this breakup is a turning point. I'm just going to find something I care about. Maybe it's a film, maybe it's a girl that just has a normal life, and some *time to spare* as opposed to us always being in different places, different countries, different states of mind. I don't know what it is. I'll let you know in a day or two if I figure that out.

Right now I've got a frozen pizza in the oven and I just opened my second beer. (I eat the same junk you do.) Tonight is going to be "Godfather" night. My favorite film--one of them. They went through hell to make that thing.
And maybe that made it the towering, ferocious achievement it was. Man, sometimes I feel like you got to go straight through red-doored hell to get to your life.

Thank you for reading, and good night.

Sincerely,

The Night Swimmer

January 16, 2006

WOW! Nothing's Sexier Than a "Nylon-Covered Mound"

I become an Asian GIRLY MAN when I wear PANTIES

I want my nylon-covered mound rubbed and orally stimulated and then pull my panties to the side for a VGL masculine white or Latin guy, 20-40, with tight athletic body and become his hot girly man. Am older than that, in great shape, smooth, and can be very naughty with the right guy. My panties will get very wet to feel your stiff rod sliding between my thighs. Have crotchless, lace, hi cut, bikini, string, see throughs, thongs, slutty showgirl panties. I would like to maneuver your cock inside my panties so we're both in the same panty TOGETHER! Let you taste my panties as I stuff them in your mouth. Pull my panties to the side just for your tongue and meaty manhood. WOW! PLEASE SEND FACE AND BODY PICTURE AND FULL DESCRIPTION to receive reply. WOW!!

January 15, 2006

Hey, As Long As We All End Up With Free HBO

XXXXXXXXXXXXX RAPE============>>>>>>>> ME - 28

I come to your door posing as the cable guy. You and your friends (3+)didn't call about a cable problem, so I will be probably at the wrong apartment, but you think that I am so fucking hot and ur freinds are so turned on that so you invite yome in. Before I realize you really didn't call about a cable problem, you tie me up so you I can't leave and then you and your friends we'll rip my clothes off and force me to suck our cocks. After I you've sucked you and your friends good, you are going to lube my ass up shove your hard cocks in my ass. You and your friends are going to take turns fucking me hard until I cum. Then you and your friends are going to shoot your loads all over my face and/or body forcing me to swallow it to the last drop and after that all of you will be pissing in my mouth. In the mean time one of your friends will be taking/record the entire rape, after the act will be over you keep me tied up, go online, post the pics and invite more guys to cum over to rape me.

January 14, 2006

And My Minor Was in English

to brief a bit abt my self

m 21@age completed my bachelors of engineering this july m into the weired world of wired bitz n bytes i.e Information Technology ....... lookin forward form my masters offshore.........

FOR my PIC messg me wid a pic, wud luv to reciprocate u wid my private picz

:: MY Physique::
my statz are 5-10inch/ 32w/ 72 kg average built / indian fair /cute n decent/
.........(m no macho hunk but knowz how to make the most on bed when required) ......

::Erotic fun 4 me::
as far as erotic pleasure are concerned i dont compromise on 3 points time, place, n person......i rarely have opportunity to go on bed( wid all the contrainst on my head) so when ever i hav i dun want it to be time bound it has to flow till yr thirst is quenched!!!...........

:: G4M 4 ME ::
for me this is also a pocess of meeting new ppl..........but still a deamon process does work hunting for erotic fun

for me this erotic pleasure is meant to be only at leisure time!! a pure bed rocker by nature, need 38.7 deg celcius n more during chilling winter night to cuddle in my arms,................

till date i use to treat myself after hectic work schedules, n i wud prefer a amusement park than a lacrymose movie i mean to say i wud prefer fun on fly rather than relation.........i m not against that but never had an acquaintance which could convince me to change my decision.......

January 13, 2006

Just Don't Put The Brush in Your Mouth and Paint With My Cock!

Hot role play, me on ladder painting in nude ur tongue up my ass& flip - 30

I have some painting i wanna finish, but i am horny as hell. have a fantasy role play where you're my helper and we decide to paint in the nude, up on ladder with paint brush in one hand and your dick in the other or your tongue and fingers up my ass, then you paint a little with your cock in my throat, then we switch.... any hot guys into it??? we can do more if we feel the vibe is cool...... Serious only

You Are Either Top... Or You Are Bottom

verbal aggressive top seeking bottom

I know the new "project runway" is on in an hour, but really horny here, so maybe we can meet up later.

[thanks to Weird Ads reader Shannon]

January 12, 2006

This can only lead to bird flu... or scrambled eggs.

chix.jpgChicken Dancer - $10

I am a chicken dancer.

Here are my pictures.

If you are interested in having me chicken dance at your business gatherings, neighborhood parties, art shows, music festivals, etc let me know.

I have been trained by the Chicken Dance Studios of America and am fully capable of shows lasting as long as 6 hours.

No offer is refused. Rates start as low as $10/hour depending on level of dance (1-10 scale) and number of people at the event.

Also, if more than one chicken dancer is needed I can arrange to have my apprentice join in the event.

Thank you, and I look forward to hearing from you.

[thanks to our friends at the WOW report]

That, or a cacophony of bullshit; you decide.

Rich Homeless Man STILL Looking - m4w

Do you have any idea how hard it is to get laid when you are homeless?
I am in the middle of a long drawn out divorce. My ex is living in MY house until the divorce is done. (Then she gets kicked out and I get my house back)

I am gainfully employed at TWO jobs. I make over six figures a year! I have a large nest egg that my ex will not get her hands on! I am a real catch!

Currently I am living in my motorhome. I have been out of the dating game for over six years, so I guess that makes me a virgin!

I am 6'1" 190 lbs. green/hazel eyes brown hair no facial or pubic hair
I am in my 40's. I am considered handsome by women other than my mother!

I really need some female companionship. Are you willing to go on an adventure and make out in a motorhome? I love to get romantic in the bedroom with the raindrops falling on the roof. It makes for a symphony of love.

Fill My Cone With Ice Cream, Laughter and Rolled-Up Pants

an ICE CREAM date ... - 24

anyone up for some ice cream?
It's a date.
I'll be a very fun date full of ice cream and laughter and more ice cream and perhaps other creamie things as well.

I am a small asian guy(5'7" & 120lbs) who enjoy others of skinny or semi muscular build. I tend to have crush on guys with pretty faces. Better yet, bikers with pretty faces and rolled up pants...yes.yes. Since this will also be a fun date, I am hoping for someone who is interesting and intellegent... Someone who is educated and eloquent?... Someone who is stylish and stylish? etc...

I have more clear photos for trading, so start sending your pictures guys.... um.... now?

January 11, 2006

We wish he could quit them!

Who wants doggy-style while smoking a cigarette? - m4w - 33

I swear to you, its the hottest thing!

We can do all the normal stuff, meet in a bar or coffee shop, hang out, get comfortable and flirt - make each other laugh. Then, if it feels right we can move on back to your place or somewhere, put the movie on and make out, lots of foreplay, oral, I mean Jesus - if you're gonna invite back to the pad, of course its gonna be about you getting whatever it is you need to get off, you know? I'm not like some kind of selfish assdork guy whose like, "Yeah, thanks for indulging my goofy-ass fantasy - now diddle yourself while I watch The Apprentice" (or some shit).

But at some point we might want to check out getting naked, you propping yourself up on some pillows or whatever - and getting fucked from behind while having a smoke. Its somehow very sophisticated and nasty at the same time - kinda like "yeah, sure I'm getting fucked like a dog and loving it - but I mean, why would I choose to deny myself the pleasure of smoking this cigarette too?" or something like that. You can wear glasses too, if you want. Or how about a martini in the other hand? "Darling, be careful, we don't want to spill a precious a drop!" Or we don't have to do that at all, it just sounded like fun.

I'm 33, normal cute SWM. Tall, dark hair, have a pic - whatever, you KNOW its about the cigarette...

Funny, most dog owners would be very appalled by this.

Seeking a girl and her K9 - m4w

I would like to meet a sexy girl who would be open to share her pleasures of canine sex with me present so that it may be more enjoyable. As a dog owner, I have become very fascinated by this. Please email if interested.

Is this a good break-up or a bad break-up?

Slut for the taking...

Ok guys, got some info for you. I dumped my GF last night, knowing her she will be on the prowl today through the weekend at her favorite bar the Saddle Ranch looking to hook up.

Pretty much say the right things and you will get laid. How do I know this? I picked her up the day after her previous bf dumped her.

Quick description she is a 7-8 on the LA hotness scale, 5 foot 4 brunette, very bubbly personality. She will probably be out with a couple friends, they look like sisters. She will be the shortest one

Couple tips when talking to her...compliment her on her shoes...whatever kind she is wearing...also mention she has a unique eye color...she doesnt but she thinks she does...

Have fun!

You Are Getting Very Loose... Now Where's My Latte?

~~~~~~~Hypnosis..........and sex

looking to lose inhibitions? Want to give up control? having trouble with a gag reflex? want to loosen up an orifice or two? want to lose yourself completely in bed. OR JUST WANT TO EXPERIENCE THE GREATEST ORGASM EVER..Then get back with me and let's explore...I provide a safe environment for either you alone or with a partner.....a picture, is helpful to show serious intent... I've been working with hypnosis for a good 15 years in my practice, and even though I help people with long-standing issues surrounding sexual behavior, this posting is designed more for play under a safe and guiding hand..currently there is no charge, but if you want to put something my way as an exchange, eg. like washing my car, a caffe latte, etc. (lol) that's always cool....but keep the latte hot...

January 10, 2006

Your Crib or Mine?

Diaper Domination - 29

Some adult men are just plain unruly and need to be put back into diapers and taken down a few notches. Are you one of these guys? Open to other punishment scenes too.

January 09, 2006

Meet me at Apartment 3-G

Have Viagra - will travel - m4w

Retired Sea Captain looking for sex partner. I don't smoke, drink, or do drugs.
I'm clean, no STDs, so you too. Mary Worth types ok - 150 pounds & under ok. can contact at [redacted]

Seeking the Pig who was Hogging the Sling

Sling party late late friday night/ sat am - m4m - 35

You hogging the sling and monopolizing all my head space until I approached. We laughed about the "luxury apartment" and the "leather?" top table.You called me the Cuban Muscle Crisis and rudely asked me not to talk my game to you during your show. I was real and really into the moment. You broke me, but I still want to know you. My friend annoyed you when he said that you will get the Oscar for acting as though you did not notice my body. Did you?

Most important you told me about this site and I am hopeful you do read it. The hosts have no idea who you were.They can't remember who you came with. They are too focused on the lux lifestyle I am guessing.

Ok the rejection hurt my ego. Why not a movie? I forgot your quick excuse about the movies. Know you are going through some stuff and maybe I can at least be a friend.My offer to work out at the gym is sincere as well. I did not get a chance to tell you a sincere goodbye and I have forgotten the easy email you spoke of.

Hopeful you see this and the lux host do not. I will not put your name here as I remember you telling me you are shy and private. Wasn't that you resting in a sling with about 20 onlookers just before?
Acknowledge seeing this if nothing else. Take a chance on me. I have references.

This is Very, Very Zen

Watersports Enthusiasts - 29

I am looking for some guys into watersports for a performance art piece to be presented at a local art house party. I need two specific types of guys:

1. I need a guy who likes to be pissed on by whomever, who looks like the Buddha: bald, fat, and happy.

2. I need guys in business attire who like to piss on other guys. You must be able to provide your own business suit.

Basically what's going to happen is all the businessmen are going to piss on the Buddha, and the Buddha is going to laugh and enjoy it. So that's what you can expect.

Feel free to ask me any questions to set your mind at ease about the venue, etc. Email me a photo of yourself if you are interested. Aspiring Buddhas, nude would be preferable; businessmen, in business suits.

There will be no remuneration for any participants, but it will be fun, and I'll provide beer.

January 08, 2006

By "Candy," I'm Guessing You Mean Tootsie Rolls?

SHIT MASTER- COME SIT ON MY RIM SEAT!!!

as you sit on my face and grind your ass into my face, my tongue finds its way into your smooth pink hole and massages you from the inside, licks your turds like candy and coaxes them out for a delicious feeding. looking for experienced feeders who are slim and smooth of any race or age.

if interested, leave your stats and availability, sexual preferences. i am 5'10" 200 hairy hiv- and disease-free please be the same.

January 07, 2006

But It's Your G-String, Right? Otherwise, That's Sick.

Love Wearing My Girlfriends Pantyhose and Getting Fucked In Them - m4m

My girlfriend went home and I love wearing her pantyhose. I would like to be on all fours on my bed with her pantyhose on over my g-string. Have someone come in and rip a hole in the back of them and fuck. dd free. safe only

Or, Both.

Never, Ever, say " Peace Out " !

Unless you're Ryan Seacrest or unless you're sucking my dick......in which case it would be "Mmpplssllrrrppggullppp"

January 06, 2006

Does fantasizing about being a pedophile make one a pedophile?

Are You A Curious Little Girl? - m4w - 55

Did your daddy spank you when you were a little girl? Did you want him to? Did you want him to pull down your panties and slap your little round butt just to experience the thrill and excitement of being spanked? Do you know how arousing this experience can be? Some women grow up never having had this experience. They become curiouser and curiouser about it.

I'm a good daddy looking for a curious little girl to come and play with me. I'll love you when you're good and spank you good when you're bad. But even after a spanking, a good daddy will want his little girl to know that he still loves and adores her. He'll want to spread her legs wide and kiss her and lick her and suck her till she feels good and tingly all over. I promise to be a good daddy to you if you promise to be a good little girl for me.

Put A Sock In It! --Er, On It.

BOY INTO SOCCERSOCKS

I AM MEXICAN GUY 23 YRS OLD 5'10 145 LBS BROWN SKIN UNCUT
DICK LOVE TO WATCH SOCCER GAMES MENS IN LONG SOCCER SOCKS
TURN ME ON BAD ALSO LOVE TO HAVE SEX WHE I WEARING LONG SOX
IF U LOOKING TO PLAY IN SOCCER UNIFORMS OR SOCKS HELLO BACK
AT MY YAHOO ID ---

cc.: Department of Child Services

Show biz help for my teenaged daughter? Please? :) - m4mw - 39

My family moved from Florida a few months ago to give my daughters (ages 13 and 15) the opportunity to pursue their dreams in show biz. They are in their mid teens and I figured if we didnt move out here with them, in a few years they would do it by themselves and that didnt seem like a very good idea. They are both SAG and both have agents.

They have gotten down to producers on a couple of good projects, so I believe they have some talent. They havent yet booked anything. I know its a matter of time, but it can sometimes also be a matter of a little boost from others.

So, if you are in the industry or know people that might be able to help I would really like your help

January 05, 2006

Yeah; the same lab says my Donna Karan suit is made out of real Donna Karan.

FREE FUR COAT! REAL FUR

This coat cost me big bucks ($743 plus tax, I still have the receipt)

I only bought it cause I was told it was from a Tirialoa.

I have since discovered it is from cat, according to the lab my buddy Pete works at they did DNA and appoximately 23 cats were skinned to make this coat.

I hate to part with it it is sooo warm and comfy but my conscience as an animal lover just won't allow me to keep it.

Please come and pick it up. I am close to the ones of it ones, just off the 10 fwy. I can also deliver it for a small fee.

Sorry, Way "Over" My "Head." You Want "Ladybugs" Where?

"S"illy "L"adybugs "A"re "M"alicious - 34

If you are savvy enough to "de-crypt" my posting title AND you are still reading this AD . . . .hit me up and let's get hardcore! Did I make my "Point"?
ME = 34 / White / 5'11" / 155# / Neg (UB2) / brn / blu / hung 8.5"cut / top

January 04, 2006

But What if I'm Lactose Intolerant?

Date rape

Are you into it? I'll give you a glass of warm chocolate milk and start off nice. But you'll end up submitting completely. 33 here, in shape, white. 20-35 only.

January 03, 2006

Yes, yes; but Where?

Why I am going to be gang banged

So I never really had much self-confidence in social situations. Not because I am ugly, or unattractive, because I actually am a good looking guy, but I was abused as a child and kept my feelings of worthlessness since then.

I never could approach and attractive woman, and ask her out. I always figured she would reject me. So I have never dated a “hottie” instead I dated those girls bold enough to come after me. I never have felt like a real man.

So I decided to give in to these feelings, I am not a real man, so why fight it. So tomorrow after work, I will be meeting up with 7, men so they can gang bang me. I will get drunk and let them take turns until they are all satisfied. The idea turns me on but I know it is just a manifestation of my self hate. I am not gay but I figure this is my place in life, so why fight it. My only regret is that there will not be any attractive girls there to watch, I want them to see what I really think of myself. I hate who I am.

Um; does this go in "Cheers" or "Jeers"?

Sex sex sex sex sex sex

has this what life as we know it come to, microwave minute orgasm, blow&go. have we just given up on anything that involves work such as something that involves feelings for another. live and let live is my motto, but is that what us fags have come to.. a race that just wants to get off, living life by the orgasm count. how can us fag be just all about looks, and an orgasm every hour, life should have more meaning then just sex. dont get me wrong sex is wonderful, but come on guys where is the meaning to life in that.. have us fags just shut down our feelings all together, and live in the moment.. at this rate we will be exstinct before we know it and then will go back to the basics of being together to get more out of life then sex an orgasm.

I'm guessing "Rapist! Rapist!"

we did it doggie in the bathroom at Downtown Standard roof - m4w

You were the hot latina chick. I was the 40 year old with the big cock. I told you to meet me by the couches but my idiot friends dragged me out of there. I'm sorry I didbn't mean to diss you. If you see this posting reply with the pet name you called me when you came so I know it's you. I really want to see you again. I think we were having a real connection.

Is It In Yet, Big-- Er, Little Stubby?

muscle guy with lil dick? - 30

sup guys. really into big muscle dudes with small dicks. dig watchin you strip flex pose. watch that lil stub get hard. into heavy j/o. oral cool. muscle worship. vers dude here. masc beefy muscle build hung 6cut. hit me up with pics and location. esp dig checkin out small bone in tighty whities.

Limp Love

Weird I know but I like it...

I love hookin up with a guy for pnp only to find that we've smoked a bit too much and are stuck with crystal dick...I really get into sucking on that limp cock, I know that you love the way it feels and I love the challenge of getting it hard and getting it off.....

January 01, 2006

Somehow, I Don't Think This is What Nike Had In Mind

slaveboy needed NOW! - 47

Domestic chores, errands, dominance, bondage, discipline, torture (cock, ball and nip)... learn how to cum on demand and stop with the lame, whiney approach! This isn't about being boyfriends, it's about learning obedience, enthusiasm and bringing energy and commitment to your life! Learn to use 'challenge' as an empowering thing instead of an excuse to fail. Set goals, overcome fear, build trust, live fully. Just do it!