Get Your Butt's Up And Go Have Some Damn Fun...
I put a post on CL with no expectations (which was a good way to go into this crap)I just figured since my friend was lucky enought to find a decent piece of ass that could hold a conversation I may have some luck too, OH MAYUNNNNN! Was I Was Wrong ! I got response after response with long dry-ass freakish boring tales from men saying and promising assorted bullshit. Here are some I'd like to share and add some commentary too...
Summa-bitch# 1. " I only want a smelly hairy woman" ( What in the hell is this guy like in real life? fuck, like I care ...if he told me this shit on the street face to face, i'd beat his ass for being so stupid and disrespectful)
Summa-bitch#2. He said "I want a woman who will let me lick her feet while I jerk off " (Ok, this is beyond ridiculous, only person that touches my feet wears a cute little smock and talks like Ms. Swan and I end up with pretty toes and theres no mental fucking guy spewing man-goo all over my rugs...lord, we all need to pray for this sick fucker)
Summa-bitch#3. He wanted a "special woman that would fulfill his every desire and walk him on a dog leash and call him " mommy" (I agreed to this one, on my terms, I'd walk his ass off the end of a pier and call his "mommy" after
he was at least 25 miles out in high waves, he regretfully declined my offer)
Summa-bitch#4. This one came on like Rico Suave, he told me he owned a fleet of high dollar automobiles,said he was the sole heir to a well known restaurant chain and told me "there was no end to his generosity" he had a nice picture, and I think that he was probably a nice guy, I just wondered how he had gained so much and held down his part time job at the burger king in Highland Park, it must be tough being the sole heir to a major corporation, turns out that a "Burger Prince" has a busy life , who knew? )
Summa-bitchfreakymentalweakass #5. He wanted " A woman that he could satisfy every day and night, make happy , give me trips, diamonds, homes all over the world, staff to take care of my every need, personal stylist all this plus more if I was willing fuck him and his wife and their St. Bernard, who from what I was told in a email "eats pussy like a man" and his wife would only want me to "finger fuck" her while she stroked the hubby and the dog at the same time. (ok, thesesick useless mother fuckers had me so confused and scared of how freaky folks could be I didn't leave my damned house for 2 days. Crazy bastards probably have everything in life they want and need and all they wanna do is fuck their dog and piss their lives away, I imagined the wife is one of those prissy snotty mercedes driving bitches that looks down at you as she passes you in traffic, and he's that kinda nice guy that people like AND THEY ARE PERVERTED BEYOND FREAKISH DOG FUCKERS! All I know is if I ever find out where they live I'm going to get the animal control folks in there and make sure they loose that dog and hopefully theres some kind of rehab for over sexed St.Bernards, as far as the people go I rely on karma to get them in check and you all know the old saying " karmas a bitch" and this one has a baseball bat with their names on it!")
So, after a few more mind warping emails from men that claimed they were seeking a good woman , which was
nothing but lying freaked out bull shitters and weak minded perverts . I did what any smart woman would do , I turned this dam computer off, took my ass down to the mall , got some nice new TITTAY-TOPS, new jeans, got my hair done and went out to a bar and had a few drinks with a few nice people, came home, crawled in some warm jammies,smiled to myself and realized I am gonna be alrite. So, like it say's out front " Get Your Butt's Up And Go have Some Damn Fun" Next weekend I have a date with a very nice guy I met when I went out, were going to celebrate my 43rd birthday and attend a Soprano's season opener party, I doubt I wouldv'e met this calibur of man and made these kind of plans on CL(Hey, who knows he might turn out to be a wierdo too, just so far, so good ). But, I am glad I got some of my faith in people back because it needed some restoration and I have to thank myself for making that happen. Hey, if your meeting folks and digging it here on on CL, I'm happy for you. But I'm keeping it old skool til' the day die I die, Peace...
And to you sick demented folks in Sierra Madre with the St.Bernard "Rot In Hell You Sick Fucks" I truly hope that dog turns on you both like Cujo did in that crazy-ass movie and buries dudes dick in a hole out in the back yard and then gnaws her pussy off until she bleeds out...hey! I'm a nice lady but these folks are pushing it dammit!
