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If No-one Claims Him Before Friday, We're Putting Him Down

Pooch seeks loving couple - 35

pooch.jpg
Picture attached of a well-groomed, well-trained, healthy and above all, loyal pooch looking for loving couple to adopt him. He is so full of life and love that there really is enough for two. You must be willing to share your bed because he loves to be nestled between, and keep warm, the two people for whom he cares and who care for him.

At five years old (35 in human years) he weighs in at 180lb and is a 6’1 tall. He has beautiful green and brown eyes, white teeth, and a healthy amount of fur (though thinning in some spots), which is kept short. He is always happy, has a good demeanor and has a child-like curiosity about the world around him.

Said pooch’s needs are very simple. Scratching his head or rubbing his tummy will make him settle down and generally turn him into puddy in your hands. He will be quite content to lie in your arms, or vice-versa, for hours on end. He will usually eat what is put in front of him without a fuss and is good at cleaning his plate. He rarely barks or bites, even when provoked.

His one major need is that he must be let out before the crack of dawn for his morning exercise. He will also freak out around drugs and excessive amounts of alcohol so please do not use them in his presence. Smoking also irritates his keen senses.

This pooch will likely run away if subjected to pain, emotional abuse, physical abuse or humiliation. Furthermore, he is not interested in being a show dog, or in being hidden in the basement. You and your partner should be affectionate, full of love for each other and willing to share that love. If you meet these criteria then he will be loyal for life.

If you want to adopt this very extraordinary pooch then you should write back with a picture and a description of why you think you are special enough for his love.

Comments

Ugh. I had puddy in my hands once. Had to scrub with Lava for two days to get rid of the smell.

: Rolls up a newspaper: Bad Puppy, You ate my shoe: BAD!

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