Archives
- Damn, All My "Sandels" Are Size 13
- I Assume You Eat A Lot of Fiber?
- The end of society as we know it-- really
- Don't forget to calibrate
- Curious? Straight? Able to read without paragraph breaks?
- Or answer "the banana is near the kiwis" if you just want a blow job
- "Recycle" is possibly the grossest thing that still works here
- Does he mean that literally he has no bottom?
- Jewish hipster skater move to the front of the line
- Because only straight guys do this kind of stuff
- M4M? F4F? M4FM? M4CD?
- Smells like teen spirit-- well, 18+ spirit, anyhow
- Gramps is nothing if not honest
- Promoting global trade and analingus too
- He puts the "lay" in La-Z-Boy
- I didn't know whipped cream went with shrimp!
- Is stuffing a turkey considered safer sex?
- Apparently, random punctuation is FUCKIN' HOT
- Want long, slow, scrapey head
- Talk about digital love
- Because they're fresher in the morning, y'see
- Wash My Mouth Out With Soap, Too
- Did he really put "let me leave here alive!" in an ad?
- I Only Have Horchata For You
- I Like the Fishy Smell!
- For A Kiss I'll Clean Your Garage
- P.S. Pref Italian guys. For obvious reasons.
- Wait, I don't get it
- How much for "keep your clothes on and don't be freak"?
- Roll me over. No, I mean, literally, roll me over
- You want the cock itself to be dressed up?
- Do I even need to be home, or just my laundry?
- My metaphors are forced like my unlubed cock in your ass
- Show me your 48-pack, sexy lady
- We locked eyes over the coffin
- Into Pythons-- not trouser snakes
- No smearing, no wiping, no scrubbing, no sliming
- If the condom fits, you must acquit
- More like "Only If You Are Serious About Reading Until Your Eyes Bleed"
- At least he's not shallow
- Table service for two
- I don't think the gays will necessarily want you...
- The Doctor is SO in, baby
- I'll fuck you up against the fridge
- This is So Swinging-'60s
- No fats, fems or talls need apply
- Thank god you're discrete; what if you ran into my dog on the street?
- I'm koo-koo for cunny!
- Paid by the word
- The "Odor Of the Thirties" strikes again!
- Remember when this would be considered delusional?
- Yeah, because there's NOTHING hotter than the Torah.
- If you're in doubt about angels being real
- Ideally, you live in a trailer and are missing teeth, too
- Elderly Gigolo Seeks Free Board for Fern Forage
- As Long As You're Not Sterotyping, It's Ok, Right?
- And no spankies, either
- "Tatted Up?" Is That Sexy?
- There's No Desperate in This Housewife
- Neigh.
- This Is Only About Getting Clean. Really.
- While You Were Out Your Mother Called:
- Your Ass Must Be Kosher
- Spray It, Don't Say It
- Ok, Nicholson, Back Off
- Or Maybe THIS Is The Real Mister Big
- They Don't Call Him Mister Big for Nothing
- Easy az 1 2 3; Step Up, and Make Your Move
- But Are You Very Serious?
- Most wealthy old men we know are more willing to shell out coin to get rid of one.
- Won't That Muffle You? What if I Don't Get All 75?
- May I Get A Kick Out of You?
- Give Me The Hairy Eye... and Hairy Nose... and Hairy Ears
- He Ain't Comin' Back, Penelope
- Keepin' it Clean. Not.
- 'Gullible' Isn't in Our Dicktionary, Either
- Living in an Axe Commercial
- Seeking Granny Folds (And I'm Not Talking Fresh Laundry)
- Cheer Up: A Hundred Years Ago, You'd Be Dead By Now
- Please Get a Brazilian Wax First
- As Seen on NBC's Dateline
- Finger- (or SOMETHING-) Licking Good
- X-Ref. "stalker" and "lazy":
- Paging Bobby Flay
- Beach Access
- Could Be Anybody, pt. 2
- Could Be Anybody
- There's a Reason They Call it "Black Man's Paradise"
- No Harm in Asking dep't
- No Matter What, NO DRINKING MY PISS! Sorry Homos!
- Mojito with Bacon
- During Movie Time, Prunes and Oatmeal Will be Provided
- How Cute: The Straights Have Discovered Cock Rings
- Between the Linux
- Does the idea of shoving your face into tits make you puke? You're not alone!
- No Face Pic? How About a Tank Pic?
- Celebrating Independance... From the House
- Why is this Christina's fault?
- Drip Drip Dop Little April Showers
- Ha, ha. But, seriously, people: Speed Kills.
- Which One of You is Missing an Obsessive Ex-Girlfriend?
- Your Sadistic Suits My Masochistic
- I'll Bring the Videos, You Bring the Prunes
- Obviously has access to too much caffine for one person
- The First Step in Air-Drying Your Cock
- Like 'Fight Club' for the I'm-a-Lover-not-a-Fighter Set
- Please Keep Your Finger Out of the Socket
- When you looked at me, I should have run.
- Enjoy it While it Lasts, Whoever-You-Were
- Match Made in the Therapist's Waiting Room: Exhibitionist, meet Voyeur
- You can't say he never writes.
- Your Mom and Step-Dad Can Screen the Video at Your Wake
- That Sense of Humor will Come in Handy in the Eternal World
- We'd screen that pussy juice for contaminants, too.
- Seeking an Assisted Sponging Home for Elderly Gigolo
- Spend It on a Self-Esteem Seminar
- To avoid arguing over how to raise the kids.
- Managing Expectations
- Let's Meet Over Cockatiels
- Semi-finalist, 'It's All About Me' Award
- It's 'Cause of Fucktards Like This That We Stopped Going to Jones, in 1998
- If No-one Claims Him Before Friday, We're Putting Him Down
- How Tom DeLay's Been Killing Time Lately
- You Can't Say They Don't Know How To Have Fun In Reseda
- Know Your Target Demographic
- Extra Hot If You Eat Asparagus First
- Achin' for Bacon
- And, He Takes Blue Cross/Blue Shield HMO, Too!
- We're just waiting for our Pell grant to come through.
- No Teeth, No Problem
- For pics, refer to the side of a milk carton.
- Only in L.A.
- They Bite and Scratch and Scream All Night
- You're Dashing in Your Prep Knickers
- Does a rap sheet full of P.C. 647 (b) convictions count as a c.v.?
- Baby, I'll Be Your Extended Warranty
- Year 75 of Solitude (and counting)
- Isn't Boy-Chick A Band Out of Russia?
- High Apple Pie in the Sky Hopes
- Is That American Apparel?
- Even for One Hand, That's a Lot of Typo's
- Insert "Milk-Bone" Joke Here
- Gravity, or Something Serious
- Hope You Like Spelunking
- A Narrow Escape
- I Don't Cut Hair But I'd Like To Suck Your Cock
- For God's Sake, Phone Your Mother
- We'd review that colonoscopy chart again.
- And Afterwards, We Can Grab A Bite
- Honk and Pass
- Perfect For That Drowning Fantasy
- ...and Ann B. Davis as Alice
- With a Mallet?
- And, if you secrete royal jelly, he'll eat that, too.
- Talk About "Smear The Queer"
- Horse My Bitch Up
- And Definitely No FAGS
- Even *This* Guy Won't Kiss a Smoker
- M/D seeks BBW PhD for NSA, P.D.Q.
- Wicked Bro!!!
- As Long As You Bleach My "Rosebud," Too
- Tubby, Greasy, Hairy Italinans Catch A Break
- Cliff's Notes: Charles Bukowski
- And in the morning, scrambled eggs
- How is this a "fantasy"?
- If you don't answer, I'll have to do a test drive at the dealership
- Please, no teeth
- Who's Been Sleeping in MY Bed?
- Snooze Alarmed
- We know someone who once picked up a doormat at Target.
- Actuarilly speaking, there's not much left to endure.
- Now That Is Truly Sex On Demand
- Trimming and Fucking, Fucking and Trimming
- You Want Fear? Try The Real Thing... That's SCARY HOT!
- This is the guy who put out a fatwah against Salmon Roughy.
- Does Baskin-Robbins Sell "Semen Delite"?
- Again With The Brutal Honesty
- Next Time, Stick a Pine Code in My Butt
- The #1 Rule: Honesty Is the Best Policy
- Oh, nice talk! You eat out your dog with that mouth?
- Tony Robbins Says: Goal Setting Means Goal Getting!
- Did You Actually Say "Suck My Doberman"?!
- Just Promise Not to Strangle Me In My Sleep
- Whoa, no; William and Mary won't do.
- Are You Talking Ears? Knuckles? Taint?
- For starters.
- Like 'em Hairy and Depressed? Seek No More
- This ploy worked for Tony Curtis in 'Some Like it Hot'
- Wait, No Makeup? FORGET IT!
- I Prefer Something With Propellers, Thanks
- Dude, Way To SELL IT! HOT!!!
- Oh, hello; fancy meeting *you* here.
- [I'll vouch for this. -W. Mick]
- There's a Reaon I Am Not An Actor
- Feeders: try the quivering tripe
- No Off-Brand Socks PLEASE!
- Enough Rope?
- Sour Grapes (serves: one)
- I Stroke My Grope You Rub My Rub Grope Stroke Show Fuck Pump
- The problem is, you just want more watersports an hour later
- Tired of Ugly Guys Wanting To Blow You?
- Looking for "Capt. Kangaroo" or "Mr. Rogers" Type
- Just another lunch with the Algonquin Round Table
- We Capoted Once, at Chipotle
- Seeking Dom Girlie-Guide
- Why Didn't I Think of That?
- Blue is Really Your Color!
- What Has Dr. Kervorkian Been Up to Lately?
- Smooth Tigresses Only Need Apply
- This ad has "A.D.D." written all over it.
- WeirdAds Snarky Entitlement Meets Skanky Weirdo Entitlement
- Looking for Play As Innocent as O.J. Simpson
- That'd be "D. None of the Above"
- It's Like a Microscopic Cock-Fight, Without the Cock
- Mini-bar Super-Freak
- Does Semen have Good Carbs or Bad Carbs?
- Of course, if you're not into having sex with 48-year-old strangers, then you probably don't care.
- Honeydripping and the Postmodern Condition
- You: Pushy, Swishy... No Fems or Fags
- Hung Like the Drapes
- Blond or Brunette, Doesn't Matter... Just No Worms
- Looking For a Nice Crotch-'Fro
- Or, maybe it was the corncob you were smoking.
- This Gives a Whole New Meaning to "Screw in my Lights"
- Girl, You Are So Busted
- "Dahmer Diet Plan"?
- Counts me out.
- Stephany, Can You Work On My House?
- Ay Carumba
- How Do You Say "Suck It Harder, You Fucking Slut" in Hebrew?
- I Think The Important Question Is, Does The Job Come With Dental?
- The Bangles and The Go-Go's, too.
- If You Have Oxygen In Your Balls, We'll Climb The Stairs Of Love
- I'm Ignoring Your Ad Completely!
- When did the Cosmo Quiz get so judgmental?
- How about one with sores, or maybe a rash? That's odd/weird!
- I Hope I Don't Leave My Cash At Home
- You Scared Me Out of My Pants!
- No Harm in Asking dep't
- Actually, My Cock Is In Scientology. Well, A Scientologist. Close Enough.
- Is This Like a DQ "Dilly Bar"?
- Sigh-- Straight Guys, What Are You Going To Do?
- Well, I Wouldn't Want You As My Enemy...!
- Probe my gums. Not what you think.
- ¿Por qué debo tener yo Pelo Facial?
- Do Big Things Come In Small Packages?
- Want to Be The Next Superman?
- I'm Not Sure Blue Cross Covers This, Exactly
- Onward and upward with the arts.
- Could you be more specific?
- Better: Stuff the Franklin up in there, and let 'em fist for it.
- This IS how Ryan Seacrest was discovered.
- Sounds Like You Need To Cut Back.
- Drop The Flag, Not Your Pants
- What About "Monster Style"? Oh, Wait, That's a Double-Double
- Kiss My "Rectal Lips"
- Pork sausages?
- 'Cause That's Just Trashy
- And You Won't Believe How I Want You to Condition My Hair!
- "Testicals" Is Not My Teddy Bear
- We're certain he's just being hard on himself (by L.A. standards).
- Steve, Teach Me The Ways of Pleasure. Once a Week.
- The Hottest Castaways Since Gilligan and Crew
- Where Exactly Are a Guy's "Poon" And "Cans"?
- From someone claiming aversion to surprises, this ad omits something important. (But, what? Leave your guess in Comments.)
- Hope We Get To The Boner, er, Bonus Round
- Goddamit Dennis, I Mean It This Time!
- I Guess This Means Definitely *Not* Lactose Intolerant
- And the blow. Don't forget the blow.
- WOW! Nothing's Sexier Than a "Nylon-Covered Mound"
- Hey, As Long As We All End Up With Free HBO
- And My Minor Was in English
- Just Don't Put The Brush in Your Mouth and Paint With My Cock!
- You Are Either Top... Or You Are Bottom
- This can only lead to bird flu... or scrambled eggs.
- That, or a cacophony of bullshit; you decide.
- Fill My Cone With Ice Cream, Laughter and Rolled-Up Pants
- We wish he could quit them!
- Funny, most dog owners would be very appalled by this.
- Is this a good break-up or a bad break-up?
- You Are Getting Very Loose... Now Where's My Latte?
- Your Crib or Mine?
- Meet me at Apartment 3-G
- Seeking the Pig who was Hogging the Sling
- This is Very, Very Zen
- By "Candy," I'm Guessing You Mean Tootsie Rolls?
- But It's Your G-String, Right? Otherwise, That's Sick.
- Or, Both.
- Does fantasizing about being a pedophile make one a pedophile?
- Put A Sock In It! --Er, On It.
- cc.: Department of Child Services
- Yeah; the same lab says my Donna Karan suit is made out of real Donna Karan.
- Sorry, Way "Over" My "Head." You Want "Ladybugs" Where?
- But What if I'm Lactose Intolerant?
- Yes, yes; but Where?
- Um; does this go in "Cheers" or "Jeers"?
- I'm guessing "Rapist! Rapist!"
- Is It In Yet, Big-- Er, Little Stubby?
- Limp Love
- Somehow, I Don't Think This is What Nike Had In Mind
- Safe Sex Only: You Must Wear Your Yarmulke
- A Town Full of Ho, Ho, Hos
- I Luv U 4 Ever, Gay Cop of Route 3!
- As Long as You Promise to Take Out the Teeth First
- Could You Be a Little More Chatty, Pokey?
- Please Spank my Sentences Into Paragraphs
- Now That's Public Broadcasting!
- Um; Try "Frantic - Director's Cut."
- More Like *Charles* Mansion
- The Fucking is the TIP, You Hair Whore
- Wanted: Big Boned For Bonin'
- He's Hung Like A... Oh, Wait
- Clearly, He's a Producer
- Katie Goes Freelance
- Hot Dogs, Pizza and True (Tingling) Love
- At the Very Least.
- Emo Types, By Request
- Why Does my Stapler Smell Funny?
- A Great Christmas Gift for the Man Who Has Everything
- Welcome to Weird Ads...
Found an ad you think belongs here? Send us a link!
Search
Archives
Recent Posts
- Damn, All My "Sandels" Are Size 13
- I Assume You Eat A Lot of Fiber?
- The end of society as we know it-- really
- Don't forget to calibrate
- Curious? Straight? Able to read without paragraph breaks?
- Or answer "the banana is near the kiwis" if you just want a blow job
- "Recycle" is possibly the grossest thing that still works here
- Does he mean that literally he has no bottom?
- Jewish hipster skater move to the front of the line
- Because only straight guys do this kind of stuff
Subscribe
Subscribe to this blog's feed
Powered by
Movable Type 3.2
Movable Type 3.2